Having a holiday meal at your girl/boyfriend's, SO's, folks' place? Here are some pointers:

1. When your hosts are serving the turkey and you say, "Breast, please," do not wink and add, "... if you know what I mean!"

2. You won't win points by telling your boyfriend, as you meet his brothers, "Wow, it's incredible ... I mean, honey, you'd look exactly alike if you worked out!"

3. When offered a glass of wine, it would be a bad idea to respond, "Got anything with a little more kick?"

4. Culinary compliment to avoid within earshot of the family: "Babe, this is the best meal I've had since that amazing breakfast you cooked for us after our first date!"

5. Say your honey has young nieces and nephews. Say one of them gets a little carried away crying at some point during the day. Don't say, "I see that whining thing runs in the family."

6. "Oh, Mrs. Jones, what a lovely necklace," is a great thing to tell your boyfriend's mother or grandmother ... but best not to add, "I'd love to inherit that baby!"

7. Remember: Hitting on one of your date's parents is bad. Hitting on both parents is really bad.

8. During the half-time show, don't nudge your girlfriend's father, point to a particularly hot cheerleader, and announce, "I'd do her."

9. Questions best left unasked: "You don't really think we're going to stay in separate rooms, do you?"

10. If you ask your honey's parents how long they've been married and they smile and say "45 years," a poor response would be, "FORTY-FIVE YEARS? I'd go NUTS."

See ya on the hunt!

I like that one! Heh, heh.
I once came across something in a Readers Digest, took a couple of hours to memorise it and finally Thangsgiving came up. It was my aunts turn to host the thanksgiving dinner. She is a retired college professor and has a tendency to minimise other's intellectual abilities. When she asked;"George,would you like some more desert?"
My response was; "Gastronomic satiety admonishes that I have reached the ultimate stage of deglutition consistant with dietetic integrity!"